Media Scribbler

Tonight’s lineup features plenty of guitars and cowboy hats, but also offers the season premiere of “Top Chef” and a full lineup of crime dramas on CBS.

8 p.m.

• The 42nd Annual CMA Awards (ABC): If you like country music or just like to snark about the outfits that folks wear to country music award shows, this is the one for you. Brad Paisley (known for his funny songs, including one that talks about looking for ticks) and Carrie Underwood of “American Idol” fame are hosting. If you’re on Twitter, I’ll be doing live coverage tonight.
• America’s Next Top Model (The WB): Paulina offers the girls advice on how to successfully model with a variety of items, including fish and toilet paper. Back at the house the girls decide to unwind by inviting some local guys over for an evening full of games. And I’m sure that will lead to no drama at all, because none of the games would ever involve alcohol.
• Knight Rider (NBC): Knight Industries is hot on the trail of a Bonnie & Clyde-esque criminal couple, only to discover their true identities have a serious impact on a national congressional race. I swear this show sounds like “Miami Vice” with a newer car.
• Bones (Fox): Booth and Brennan investigate the scene where a body was uncovered during a botched practice police raid. The team identifies the body as a struggling inventor’s father who had recently reunited with his son. But when a second body surfaces, the team is led on a trail of deception to find out who was the actual con-man in the inventor’s life. Meanwhile, Booth’s younger brother Jared (guest star Brendan Fehr) moves to D.C. to take a job at the Pentagon, and Brennan, smitten with Jared, agrees to go on a date with him to a White House function. This leads her to learn information about Booth’s past and give her a far greater understanding into her partner’s motives
• The New Adventures of Old Christine (CBS): Christine is thrilled when a talent scout recruits Ritchie to audition for a television commercial after his shockingly great performance in a school play, but Richard refuses to let him go.
• Monarchy: The Royal Family At Work (PBS): This documentary series is kinda groundbreaking because of the huge access the Royal Family gave to the photographers for filming. Tonight’s segment covers Queen Elizabeth II’s trip to America last year to commemerate the founding of the first English colony of Jamestown, and it also includes a state dinner at the White House.

8:30 p.m.

• Gary, Unmarried (CBS): When Vanessa asks Gary to take her on a real date, he tells her that he’s taking her to a very special restaurant just for them, which Vanessa discovers was the same restaurant he and Allison used to frequent. Really, why do people actually think that their SO won’t figure these things out?
• Time Warp (Discovery): The show demonstrates how a whip cracks and how dogs shake water off their fur. Fascinating.

9 p.m.

• Criminal Minds (CBS): Dr. Reid embarks on his own investigation into the murder of a young boy years earlier in Las Vegas that he strongly believes has a connection to his own childhood.
• Life (NBC): In a plotline sure to make everyone feel really safe for their holiday shopping, a murder takes place in a mall on the biggest shopping day of the year. Crews and Reese end up searching for more than just the killer. In a moment of confusion the body disappears, Crews and Reese are then faced with the task of tracking down both the body and the killer in one of the largest malls in America on one of the busiest shopping days of the year.
• Stylista (The WB): The contestants hit Henry Bendel to shop for an outfit for Anne, who is taking a last-minute trip. The group breaks up into teams to design and direct a photo shoot featuring a Tory Burch outfit. Tory appears on the show as a guest judge and helps Anne and Joe decide which team made her outfit look the best on the page. Anne and Joe send two contestants home for poor performance.
• Mythbusters (Discovery): Common phrases are studied. I would assume that these would be stuff like “A penny saved is a penny earned.”
• Ghost Hunters (Sci-Fi): TAPS recalls their favorite investigations.
• Friday Night Lights (DirecTV)
• Inside the NFL (Showtime)

10 p.m.

• Law & Order (NBC): Rick Devon’s (guest star Bradford Cover) body is found murdered in a park, and his death is automatically assumed to be drug related. Upon investigation, the detectives stumble upon a key in a nearby bathroom that could potentially have been left behind by the killer. Prints on the key lead the detectives to fa ormer felon, Diego Cardenas (guest star Carlos Leon), who has cleaned up his act and now works at a home for mentally challenged adults. After questioning Diego, the detectives discover a hidden relationship between the murder victim and another resident of the home that guides the detectives to uncover a painful family secret that could expose the killer.
• CSI: NY (CBS):  Investigation of a floating crime scene leads the team into the world of “SecretU” an art-house world of true confessionals where 20-somethings divulge their darkest secrets with deadly results. So basically it sounds like Post Secret meeting the Grim Reaper.
• Sons of Anarchy (FX): Jax’s loyalty to SAMCRO is tested, and Abel may get more than he bargained for after being released from the hospital.
• Top Chef (Bravo): This is the season premiere for the show, which is based in NYC for this round. Their first challenge is to represent the ethnic flavors that the city is famous for. So there should be at least two reworkings of thin-crust pizza.
• South Park (Comedy Central): Tonight’s show takes aim at “High School Musical”, which should be hilarious.
• Parking Wars (A&E): In case you were wondering if there were any ideas left for reality shows, apparently there are. In this ep, a parking officer skirmishes with drunk partyers and a man tries to elude a parking boot.
• Prototype This (Discovery): The team tries to recreate a water park slide in a backyard. Didn’t they already do that on “The Girls Next Door”?

10:30 p.m.

• Chocolate News (Comedy Central): If you didn’t see the post-election show last week, it was awesome and David Allen Grier became the 2000th person to cry onscreen after Obama’s win. Tonight’s show involves “nutritious crack”, which sounds way too “Chappelle’s Show” for me.

(NBC Photo: Trae Patton)

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