Media Scribbler

Fox: Bones (new) – The mutilated corpse of a vet leads the investigators to his alleged involvement in gambling and dogfighting. What, Michael Vick’s not guest-starring? This part’s perfect for him! The actual guest star in the photo is The Dog Whisperer’s Cesar Milan.

Til’ Death (new) – Eddie (Brad Garrett) buys a sports car, so Joy (Joely Fisher) flirts with a coworker to get back at him. Glad to know we’re not stereotyping middle age or anything.

Do Not Disturb – (new) Audrina Patridge guest-stars so that we can have two shows where we can snark on her.

CW: America’s Next Top Model (new) – The models receive a makeover and go to Malibu for a swimsuit shoot. Hopefully Tyra Banks told the models about the dangers of being shot in a swimsuit from the wrong angle.

90210 – If you manage to stay spoiler-free about who the father of Kelly’s baby is long enough to see this, you are a much stronger sort than I.

NBC: America’s Got Talent (new) – The Top 10 perform. I really prefer the British version of this show for many reasons, but mostly because they do their finals live and across a consecutive week.

ABC: Wife Swap – A control-freak mom switches places with a permissive bounty hunter. This has “won’t go well” stamped over it.

20/20 – A look at the British Royal Family over a year of filming. Why they haven’t developed their own reality show is beyond me.

CBS: Reruns of The New Adventures of Old Christine (she goes out on a blind date!) and the third-season finale of Criminal Minds.

ESPN: MLB Baseball: Brewers vs. Cubs - The Brewers have had five straight losses and lost their manager, and the Cubbies had a no-hitter a couple of days back. This could either be a huge whupping or the Brewers could finally make a stand.

(Photo: Mark Lipson/FOX)

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